I'm worried about my friend, what can I do?

Are you worried about a friend’s substance use?

If you are asking yourself this question we applaud you for being a good friend. There are many resources out there that may be available to your friend if they wish to seek help (check out the topic Where can I go for help with my own use section of this website). The most important thing to do is get the conversation started, talk to them!  

However, it can be really tricky when you think a friend may be using substances. You want to make sure they are ok, but don’t want to make them angry or lose them as a friend. Here are some tips about how to talk to a friend when you are worried about them.

• Let your friend know you care about him/her (use "I" statements, I am worried about you).
• Remain calm. This is not meant to be an argument- just a conversation.
• Stick to the facts. –Talk about the specific things that you have noticed with your friend that is causing you to feel worried. 
• Do not be judgmental. Talk about the differences you see in your friend when they are sober versus under the influence of substances. 
• Be prepared for a variety of responses from your friend. They may get angry, play it off as no big deal, change the subject, make excuses or promise they will change. 
• Give them some information about where to go for help. Tell them they can check in with their guidance counselor and this website for more resources.
• Involve others who are also concerned about the person.

If your friend chooses not to seek help make sure you take care of yourself, alcohol and drug use affects all those around the person including friends.