Talking with us Teens

As published in The Rochester Times, Thursday July 7, 2011

By JAKE LETOURNEAU

Spaulding High School senior

ROCHESTER — Talking with your teens has to be one of the hardest things to do as a parent. I am a teenager myself, but I am trying to help and clue you in on a teenager secret, we are listening, more than you think. It must seem like we don't listen to you at all, but in reality we do. My generation should know by now what is right and wrong, but not all do. This is why the "talk" about drugs is an important talk. It can be awkward, but is essential to ensure your child won't ever use drugs. I have some suggestions for you on how to talk with us teens.

Looking into what kinds of drugs are on the street these days and what they do to you and your life is where you might want to start. This is the best thing to do before the "talk" so you know why these drugs are bad and so you can tell your child and/or teen about them. You could research the subject as if you were a teacher or other educator. As a parent, you are technically their life teacher.

The more facts you know about drugs, the easier it will be to talk with your kid about this topic.

When you feel that you are ready and that the time is right, then start your chat with your kid by asking what they know about drugs and if they know anyone using them. Try expanding on this topic. Since I am a teen, I know what I would do in this situation and I did have friends who used them, lie. Look for signs of dishonesty from them such as their eye contact, fidgeting or how they answer like if they are defensive about it. After this, move on by telling them what you have researched about drugs, what drugs can do and how dangerous they are. Kids and teens may bring your childhood into talks like this or other arguments. I know, I have done it before myself. All I ask is do not lie to them. Lying just can make things worse. Give explanations why you did use them, unless you didn't. Knowing that my sister and I have brought up our parents' past in discussions with them, I almost guarantee this will happen. Also explain to them that you will do whatever in your power to prevent them from using. They won't like it, but it shows how much you care about them and how strongly you feel about drugs. This is your job, parents! Staying involved in what is happening in your kids' lives helps you monitor what they are doing. You are being responsible and caring parents for doing this and your teen will benefit from this in the long term.

I am a teenager in high school so I have the point of view as a teen and can help you understand what goes through a teen's head. Research has been done that shows that teens are half as likely to use drugs when their parents discuss it with them.

This article is the result of a partnership between Bridging the Gaps and Spaulding High School. Bridging the Gaps is a community based coalition in Rochester whose mission is to promote a drug free community for our youth and families.